I was dead, lying above the end of the world

I stood before the edge, facing due north. If you let go just enough, the wind will hold you as you perilously dangle above the water. However, if the wind stops, you better hope that your reflexes work quicker than ever before. The wind was light today, it was brisk, slowly feeling my face as it passed. I glanced around, nothing was there. The bridge wasn’t crowded, of course at 4:37 AM, it wouldn’t be. This morning was different, I felt good. It was quick, and I was energized, I decided to walk those 43 blocks. I haven’t walked to work in ages, and maybe I shouldn’t have ever stopped.

This particular morning I couldn’t see that famous skyline. The sun was still in its waking stages, it made for a beautiful scene, but nevertheless, I couldn’t see very far. As I was busy ogling my view a man in full suit passed me. He quickly darted his eyes away, when I met his gaze, but I knew he would regret that later. He would even regret walking to work later.

No one realizes the scarcity of those little moments, you know, those little moments of self reflection, when rational thought leaves, but intelligence is still present. They’re not brought on by conscious thought, but rather when the mind realizes an opportunity to heal. As I peered into the parting darkness, I did not have one of those moments. But what I did have was something just short of a revelation. I stepped onto the railing. Perhaps I looked like Rose in that movie “The Titanic”, perhaps I just looked crazy, but when I looked down, I knew how I felt.

The plunge. Like a swan, ever so gracefully, I dove. My dress fluttered out as I went head first to my death. I was elated. Freedom had incinerated itself into my bones. I could imagine the man turning around and gawking at my bravery. My light brown hair was whisked away from my face as the wind whistled past me. Oh! The depths of darkness I was approaching would be magnificent! I could see the water below me. It turned from this blue to purple, eventually into black. I hit. The impact was shattering, with that the black engulfed me.

My wind had stopped.