Satire- Vonnegut

Well, I can’t wear my pink uggs on Thursday because Regina is going to wear hers. On Friday I want to wear a skirt but I want somebody else to wear one too. Now, obviously I am not going to wear my sneakers, but my ballet flats are totally out of style. I think I’m going to go to the mall and pick up some new ones, but I’m saving up to buy a prada bag. Which reminds me, did you see Crystal’s new sunglasses? She knew that I so wanted to buy them but couldn’t afford them, so she went behind my back and got them anyway! I can not believe it! Shelly agrees with me, we should totally not talk to her for like a day. Speaking of a day, in a day it’s Bridget’s birthday! I’m going to wear that silver strapless with the corset backing, I look so hot! But what is going to make it even more dramatic is the fact that she didn’t invite Crystal. She’s been bitching about her boyfriend, the really ugly one, and nobody can stand it. So we’ve decided to just leave her out of everything. We’re not going to tell her, of course, instead we’re going to let her figure it out herself. Oh and by the way I’m thinking of crash dieting just so I can drop 5 pounds fast. I really want to. Now I know that you know that it’s not safe, but I don’t care. Bathing suit season people!! Now although I’ll never admit it, I kind of like my friend’s boyfriend. It’s not that he’s sweet or sensitive or anything, but rather, he’s just really cute. I’m sure I could get a boyfriend in an instant, but I just really want this one. Yeah, so I’ve just figured that I’ll do whatever I want, you know.